Need Not Apply: The Funniest Failures From Employers Hiring
While applicants work tirelessly on their resumes and cover letters, employers write up job advertisements. These listings are important because they need to attract the ideal employee. But sometimes, employers mess up. One typo can change hiring to firing, and the wrong wording will sound like line cooks eat people. Don't apply to these jobs--they are the funniest fails from employers hiring.
Someone Is Eager To Hire
This company posted the most urgent job interview: "NOW HIRING NOW. RIGHT NOW. WE'RE HIRING RIGHT NOW." The words in all capitals make it seem like the employer is yelling.
On one hand, anyone who needs a job immediately will rejoice when they see this sign. On the other hand, other employees do not want to feel yelled at before they even apply. We hope that whoever was hiring got someone for the job "RIGHT NOW."
No Jeffreys!
Applicants get denied for all kinds of reasons, but most companies do not discriminate based on names. This one did, though. A Twitter user posted an email from a company saying that they "are unable to offer positions to people with the name Jeffrey."
The user emailed the company back but never got a response. Then, Indeed noticed the post and removed that company from their website. Although justice was served, we will never know why this business refuses all Jeffreys.
One Letter Makes All The Difference
This employer had one job; all they had to do was write "Now Hiring." Instead, they wrote "Now Firing." Now people will think that they apply to a position where they will immediately get fired.
Perhaps it was not a typo, though. If a business is hiring, it might have fired previous employees. So maybe the company is "now firing." Still, nobody wants to work for a company who is consistently firing people and advertising it on signs.
This Sign Might As Well Say "Don't Apply"
"Wanted" signs are supposed to make the job appear enticing, but this one does the opposite. The employer wants someone who "won't quit after two months," "can take a joke," and "won't cry everyday on the floor."
This raises some concerning questions. What kind of jokes were making the employee cry? If she quit after two months, then it was likely for good reason. Nobody wants to work for an employer who makes their coworkers cry.
This Interview Is Getting Existential
Some job websites allow employers to set up a quiz for their applicants. Certain companies come up with creative questions to test applicants' creativity or problem-solving skills. But this one got a little too existential when it said, "Please describe the color yellow to a blind person."
Assuming that the blind person has always been blind, you can't. It's an impossible question. And even worse: the person who posted this was applying for a digital marketing position!
Maybe They're Hiring A Time Traveler
When employers write a job description, they often write about fields that they want the applicant to have experience in. Such was the case for a Twitter user searching for coding jobs. They found a job opening that requires eight years of Swift experience--even though Swift had come out three years ago.
Swift coding came out in 2014, so any employer who wants over eight years of experience will be disappointed. Unless they are hiring the creator of Swift, they should change their job description.
Nobody Will Notice This Mistake
Occasionally, job-seekers will find a listing with a typo. But this employer made a much larger mistake. This restaurant is hiring servers, greeters, and line cooks. Next to line cooks, they wrote the phrase "Cook people!" and crossed out "cook" with "FOOD."
Clearly, the employer wanted to make a catchy ad with "Serve people," "Greet people," and "Cook people." They could have written "Cook for people," and it would have worked. But no; they had to cross out "people" with "food" to not sound like cannibals.
Only Turkeys May Apply
Although hiring posters next to the street will garner attention, employers need to double-check where they put them. This employer probably should not have placed the "Now Hiring" sign on top of "Fried Turkeys." Now, only fried turkeys will apply!
This accidental sign placement is hilarious and got plenty of attention online. But it is not professional, and the employers might have received joke applications. Imagine receiving an application from "Fried Turkey" and not understanding why.
This Employer Wants A Robot
Plenty of employers want their workers to be enthusiastic, optimistic, or motivated. But this person wants the opposite. On a data entry application, the employer desires someone who is "considered almost 'cold and robotic.'"
Sure, some "cold and robotic" people might want to apply. But that just makes the work environment sound boring and hostile. If you want to act like a robot or work with other people acting like robots, then feel free to apply.
What A Profit!
This ad starts with a hook and ends with a disappointment. It offers a higher pay than $9.75 per hour, which is great! But then it offers...between $5 and $7. It's always nice to know that an employer can do math.
Perhaps the employer meant to type $15 and $17, but it is unlikely that he would mistype both numbers. Either way, few people would want to work full time for only $5 an hour. That's distressingly low.
Maybe Don't Combine A Memorial With A Job Ad
Many fast food restaurants post job advertisements on their bulletin board. But this Wendy's combined a job advertisement with a memorial. It says, "In memory of Dave. We will miss you. Now hiring."
That's...quite a tonal shift. It is nice that they paid respects to Dave, but maybe don't combine a "Now Hiring" sign with a memorial. Sure, they will have to replace Dave. But the employer sounds a little bit too eager to do so.
Job Requirements: Never Be Wrong
Most job applications have requirements such as, "must be a quick learner" or "must be highly organized." But this one takes it a step further by writing, "You can't be wrong, naive, or mis-educated." And to top it off, it requires a "High IQ" in the "top 1%."
This employer might be reaching for the stars here. Nobody wants to work for a company where they can NEVER be wrong. And how many people take IQ tests anyway?
Maybe Don't Call Your Applicants "Nerds"
In 2019, a redditor posted an email that he received from a job offer. The hiring manager replied to the applicant, inviting them to an interview. But the manager accidentally attached a private message to the email.
The private message says, "I'm talking to this nerd tomorrow." Ouch. Clearly, the applicant was not supposed to see it. But calling an applicant a "nerd" is not the best business etiquette, even among coworkers. At least the poster thought it was funny.
This Restaurant Needs An Autopsy
Plenty of employers seek out potential applicants on job sites. Usually, they want someone with similar job experience to what they require. But in this case, a restaurant is looking for an autopsy assistant.
Perhaps someone with an automated template was not paying attention to what they were emailing. But it's funnier to imagine that a restaurant needs a forensic scientist. What happened at that grill? Do they need to solve a homicide case in their kitchen?
Someone Doesn't Know What Entry Level Means
"Entry level" jobs are designed for recent graduates of high school or college. These applicants likely have little to no experience in this field. However, this employer seems to misunderstand the meaning of "entry level." Every qualification requires over two or five years of experience.
This will make the application process harder for the employers. After all, no entry level person is going to apply, which will mislead search results. It's just a disaster all around.
Finally, A Place That Hires Criminals
If an employer makes a typo on their job listing, they might receive different applicants than they intended. On this taxi job listing, the employer requires "good driving and a criminal record." They likely meant to write "no criminal record."
Or maybe they want people with criminal records. That would be a questionable business practice for cab drivers, but it would make work much more interesting. For the sake of the customers, we hope the employer fixed this ad.
For Anyone Who Wants A Short Job
When people apply for a job, most assume that the business will remain open throughout their career. But not this business. This department store hung a "Store Closing" sign right next to a "Now Hiring" sign.
You don't need to be an economic expert to see why hiring during a store closing is a bad idea. Maybe someone wants a really, really short job, and they'll take this opportunity. But most people would never apply to this store.
Nice To Meet You, <First Name>
Many job recruiters fill out advertisement templates and send them out to potential employees. But these recruiters need to fill in the blanks! In this email, Saad clearly forgot to include the person's name and article.
It's no wonder why Brad sent all <First Name> emails to his spam. When an employer does not even include a person's name, it's not a company worth working for. Unfortunately, many people receive emails like this, even when employers set up interviews!
Aww, I Wanted To Work At Company Name!
When people apply for jobs, most expect some generic, automated rejection letters. These are disappointing, but they're even worse when the company puts in no effort. In 2012, a redditor posted a job rejection email that signed off with "Company Name."
Yep, the company was so lazy that it did not even include its name. At least people on reddit know not to apply to Company Name in the future. It seems like a lackluster business.
The Most Passive-Aggressive Job Listing
Generally, job listings tell you what qualifications they want. But this employer has a long, long list of qualifications that they do not want. These, including having no alarm clock, having no car, having to hold a cell phone all day, and not needing to hire a babysitter all the time.
This is perhaps the most passive-aggressive job listing in existence. The employer clearly had all of these issues with previous employees, and many people might not want to work in that environment.
How To Insult Former Employees In A Job Ad
This employer clearly found a subtle, humorous way to insult his former employees. The ad reads, "Looking for 15 energetic individuals to replace 15 lazy people." It doesn't even detail what the job is!
How lazy can your employees be if you fired 15 people? That's a lot of empty positions! On the bright side, 15 energetic people will be happy to see this listing in the paper. Or, they'll get 15 employees who drink a lot of coffee.
Who Wouldn't Want To Work There?
While most job listings aim to make the position seem desirable, this employer decided to try reverse psychology. It promises "low pay," "bad hours," and a "jerk boss." Who wouldn't want to work there?
We're curious to know how many people applied there. Maybe their odd job listing worked because of its humor. And did the boss actually end up being a jerk? Who knows! Maybe their employees ended up with high pay and a kind boss.
So...You Don't Need An Employee?
Whenever someone sees a "Help Wanted" sign, they assume that the business is hiring employees. But not this company; they just want more customers. "We mean customers," it says. "Please buy something!"
This company seems to be pranking its customers. The next time they want to hire someone, people will think that they just want customers. It might become a "boy cried wolf" situation. But on the bright side, it might bring in more business.
That's Too Much Experience
FastAPI is a web framework that builds APIs with Python hints. Understandably, employers might want an applicant with experience in this program. But this employer could have gotten the creator of FastAPI, if only he had enough experience.
FastAPI was created in 2018, two years before this Tweet went live. So it is impossible to have four years of experience with the program. If employers are going to list required years of experience, they should probably learn about the program first.
Imagine Getting A Masters For $15
Many people get a Master's or Ph.D. degree to get higher pay. But this job application, which was found by a redditor in 2020, requires a Master's for $15.29 per hour. For reference, Target and Amazon have starting wages of $15 per hour.
Good luck to this employer. Nobody with a Master's degree will want to work in a position with an entry level salary. If they are going to require a Master's degree, they should increase the pay.
Employers, Always Check For Typos
Usually, typos are easy to ignore. Even people who specialize in editing make them sometimes. But in this case, it made the job listing weirder. This McDonald's is "now hiring smiling feces."
These signs are made when an employee puts in the letters individually, so it is much, much harder to make a typo. Perhaps an employee did this on purpose for laughs. It's only one letter; please fix it before you start receiving joke applications!
The Requirements Are A Little Vague
Based on the sign, it's hard to know what the job entails. The employer clearly wants a "good woman," but what qualifies as "good"? And why do they need a woman, specifically? This sign ended up sounding so ominous.
Also, the sign has a second purpose, as an advertisement for "tryouts" is written on the top left corner. Tryouts for what? Nobody knows. The more you look at this sign, the less sense it makes.
Finally! A Job For Happy People!
Some jobs have strange requirements, but few are stranger than this position where applicants "must like smiling and happy things." Who doesn't like smiling and happy things? And what does the employer mean by "happy things"?
By this logic, everyone over the age of 18 is eligible for this job. Few people prefer frowning over smiling. And with a part-time position, they only need to "like smiling" for a few hours per day. They will receive many applications!
They Have More Dominating To Do
The Most Ominous Help Wanted Sign Award goes to this one. It says, in quotes, "Must dominate the English language." The word "dominate" is so aggressive. Do they want someone to take over the language, or someone who is good at it?
Also, why is that requirement in quotes? Did the employer say it? Is the owner being quoted? We have so many questions that will never be solved because few people would want to apply for this position.
Please Don't Eat People
On paper, "Our secret ingredient is our people" sounds like a fun way of saying that the workers matter more than the ingredients. But on this Wendy's sign, it sounds like they use humans to make their burgers.
This was obviously a mistake, but it is hilarious. Whoever applies to Wendy's might end up as a burger--or at least, that's the implication. Would you dare apply? Or would you work there just for the humor?
