Things That Actually Happened, And Yes, We’re Confused Too
Sometimes the world is just really weird and we have no idea what's going on. It's in these moments when we witness something that really makes us stop and think that we gain some perspective. Like when someone makes "feetloaf" instead of meatloaf, we realize we're probably never going to make that dish again.
Here are some photos of things that truly, actually happened even though every fiber of our collective beings wish that they wouldn't have. I'm sure the feetloaf tastes delicious but I sincerely wish it didn't exist.
The Stairway To Giving Me A Stroke
You can't read this and not feel a sharp pain in your brain. Literally no reading technique makes this cluster make sense. All you can do is put one foot in front of the other and climb to probably your death.
A Minor Electrocution Risk Makes Pool Parties More Fun
An element of danger is exactly what we're looking for to make a good pool party great. It looks like they're risking their lives to toast some bread and honestly, a good piece of buttered toast might be worth it.
Caffeinated Sandwich Meat Because Why Take Care Of Yourself?
I just have a couple of questions about this sandwich meat: is it Monster flavored? Or do they give the pigs Monster before butchering them? Or is the ham marinated in the energy drink? Anyway, it's prepared, so some guy named Kyle is definitely buying this at a gas station as we speak.
The Sign That Couldn't Take Its Own Advice
This is just poor marketing on this company's end. Or maybe it's good marketing because now this message and brand truly are stuck in our heads. I'm feeling conflicted and slightly unglued by this whole thing.
There Is Nothing Safe About This Birth Control
You'd probably be safer not putting your trust in these. There are a few minor holes in this helpful person's plan, but at least they're trying. Not hard or doing a good job because of it, but trying nonetheless.
The Fortune Cookie That Saw Takeout In Your Future
This restaurant really thinks that they can get a little advertising in where we'd least expect it. I respect their business sense, but when I'm making major decisions about inter-personal relationships and lottery numbers, I need a fortune, please.
Why Would You Need Exit Doors For Your Fire Escape?
Imagine the fire alarm goes off in your office and you proceed to the fire exit, just to discover there are exactly zero. This fire escape is the definition of being catfished by safety, and it's in the running with the condoms for the worst safety idea of the day.
Another Frozen Toilet, Another Threatening Aura
This is why you have to heat your house in the winter. People are always saying your "pipes will freeze" but we should really be worrying about our toilets going back to the Ice Age. Let's see you guys write your name in that.
The Fabled Feetloaf
This is a big no from me. Even though this undoubtedly tastes good with the onions and the seasoning, feet just isn't on any menu I'd like to sample tonight. But hey, everyone is into different things and we shouldn't shame people for that.
The Tattoo That Needs An Explanation And A Good Lasering Off
Congratulations if you somehow managed to retain all of your brain cells while reading this because I sure didn't. Hopefully, this person got this tattoo in a place they can't see it because seeing it every day for years is bound to lower the ol' IQ.
Even Oil Changes Are Getting Into The Spirit
Whether or not this sign is satirical doesn't matter because it's seriously getting us into the autumn spirit. I heard that pumpkin spice oil isn't that bad for the car as long as it's in the spooky spirit.
Bathroom Time Is Just Better With A Buddy
You can only use this bathroom with your BFFL, your spouse, or your biggest enemy. I don't know what interior designer thought this was a good idea, but clearly they need to stop relying so much on their bathroom buddy.
Mirrors Are Best Placed Right Where You Should Never Stand
Imagine going into the bathroom and then walking out completely concussed because you had the audacity to check your hair in front of this. Do you know where the mirror would make sense? Above the sink and not in, I don't know, a danger zone?
Did Someone Perform A Toilet Dive Before?
Rules, laws, and signs only exist because someone has done something before. So going by that logic, this toilet once hosted a men's freestyle diving competition. The facility owners probably made that sign because they were sour that their favorite diver didn't win.
Peeps On Pizza Are The Modern Demons Of Our Time
A little part of us has actually died now after seeing this image. When will these people stop putting whatever they can dream up on top of a slice of pizza? It's a mad world we're living in and I can't mellow out.
A De-Rinded Watermelon For Some Nightmare Fuel
This looks like an organ sitting on a table after an operation. Honestly, if the doctor told me this came out of me I'd believe him and promptly never eat fruit again.
I'll Take A Sesame Bun, Hold The Bun Part
What do we want? Bun! When do we want it? At appropriate ratios to the sesame seeds on top of it! I hope whoever got this is a fan of seeds because they're going to be kicking around in their teeth forever.
This Jacket Has The "Peculiar Smell Of The Inevitable"
Whoever made this note might be a philosopher because what they're saying is extraordinarily higher level. What is the "smell of the inevitable?" Will I ever do enough yoga to smell that?
The Potatoes In The Cupboard Went Full Alien On Us
Are potatoes really vegetables? Are we sure about that? I just made a theory that these things are potentially alien lifeforms sent to take over our soil and then our cupboards. It's a long and unsuccessful process, but someone's got to do it.
The Maze That You Have To Not Want To Solve
This maze basically begs you to do it. It knows you see the easy way out, but it wants you to learn a little self-discipline and attempt the whole thing. It's like the Karate Kid plot except you can do it in like ten minutes.
Eggo On Sale From $2.39 For $2.50
What a deal! Mathematicians everywhere will buy this now because 50 is a nice whole number you can divide and play around with. 39 just has bad vibes and we're happy it's out of our lives.
They Parked In Between The Lines Of The Second Storey Balcony
Technically, any space you can fit your car is a parking space. This person is a true innovator who's pushing the boundaries of what we consider appropriate spaces. Hopefully, they write a book from the jail cell they're going to.
The Minor Kitchen Explosion
Thank God whoever was cooking didn't choose this exact moment to check on the sauce because we'd have to check on them. Coincidentally, this is how we imagine Gordon Ramsay's kitchen on TV looks when the cameras aren't on.
You Need to Stretch Your Back Before You Use This Toilet
Don't be so presumptuous and assume that just because there's a bathroom that means you're entitled to use the toilet. You've got to put in some much-needed stretching to even think about using this bad boy.
The Ticket Dispenser That Was Sending An SOS
If a robot ever asked me for help I would politely help. There is no way I'm not putting in a good word with our future overlords before the human domination era is over.
Not Sure What This Soda Is But... It's Not Coke Right?
This t-shirt just gave me dyslexia from one quick read through. This product designer is out here not giving a hoot about spelling and assuming that we'll recognize the logo. We do, unfortunately, so maybe it rellay deos'tn mttaer.
Guy Asked If This Was A "Watch Battery"
I love living in a world where you have the option of using cash or not for your purchases. The future is digital and and we're just happy that debit and credit are accepted pretty much everywhere and you can charge your watches with coins.
Really Craving Some Baked "Zizi"
This person wanted to make sure everyone knew what they were "bring" to the pot luck so they posted this. Unfortunately, nobody knows what "baked zizi" is. Luckily for them, at least they won't be showing up with the same thing as anyone else.
You Gotta Talk Louder So The Milk Can Hear You
The milk has been a little hard of hearing ever since it was taken out of the cow. You know, the part of the animal with ears. So if you're around the milk you're going to have to speak up.
Someone Check On The Writer Who May Have Fallen Asleep On The Keyboard
This poor writer may have spontaneously fallen asleep over their keyboard because there is no other literal possible way that this could've happened and nobody noticed. At least, I'm hoping it's just sleep.
We're You're Not 'Til Not Happy
I guess I understand what this sign was going for, but it has confused me so much. Do they not want people to be happy? Did they design it in the dark?
Can You Imagine The Smell?
I can't believe that this woman really sat down and thought that just pouring out a box of litter onto a carpet and letting her cats pee there was a good idea.
No Pants, Still Service?
Most stores will have rules surrounding customers wearing shoes and shirts, but I thought that pants were kind of a no-brainer for necessary public wear. Apparently, I underestimated the citizens of America.
This Is Straight Out Of A Nightmare
Picture this: you come home after a long day of work, kick off your shoes, and sit down on the couch to unwind only to see this gecko climb out of this toy spider. You don't even own a gecko.
What Should I Do With All The Mice?
McDonald's knew exactly what they were doing when they designed this banner. I have no doubt in my mind that there are cages full of mice in the backroom next to the broken ice cream machine.
HOW?
This is a stack of 27 contact lenses that were removed from a woman's eye by doctors. I don't even know how someone accidentally puts on 27 contacts without remembering to take any off.
Is This Woman Okay?
I've heard my fair share of conspiracy theories over the course of my life—some fairly reasonable and some extremely bizarre—but this has to be the most chaotic one I've seen.
I'm Just Trying To Buy A T-Shirt
I'm not going to lie: I go into Old Navy fully prepared to see some interesting characters, but i would never expect to see a woman changing her baby's diaper on a clothing display.
SRIATS
I'm going to say it: whoever designed this is either an absolute idiot, the worst graphic designer alive, or both. They're lucky that people can read backwards (or at least recognize a staircase).
He Played Himself
As a general rule of thumb, I would recommend not teaching others how to break into houses for ethical reasons. However, I do think there's a poetic justice to this.
